Several books have shaped my understanding of sex. The first was in the late 90s: The Vagina Monologues, by Eve Ensler. Vagina Monologues unapologetically told the stories of women and our often-unhealthy experiences with sex and our bodies. The book provided us with a place to enter conversations about our own stories.

In 2010, I saw the Tyler Perry movie For Colored Girls and read poems of Ntozake Shange. The movie and poems helped me gain a new perspective on my identity as a black woman and the roles I and women like me play due to the harm done to us. The movie and the poems are powerful, and I think every woman of color would be able to find themselves in one or more of the characters.

I was recently offered another life-shifting resource, a new book titled Shameless: A Sexual Reformation, by Nadia Bolz-Weber. Reading Shameless has catapulted me into new awareness and ways of talking about sex.

Shameless is a theological storytelling of how the church and our theologies have shaped grave misunderstandings about God’s word. The author touches on important issues that have caused many women to question, hide, and hate their own bodies and personhood. She walks us through how the things we hear, see, and feel influence our lives as sexual beings. When shameful words and beliefs dominate, they cause lifelong damage.

Nadia Bolz-Weber’s work will shock and produce some level of anxiety for any reader—and for some, probably more than they want to deal with. I say this to warn people with fragile sensibilities. If this is true of you, then you may not be able to read this book. You may also want to stop reading this blog post because the story I am going to tell could very well touch on your sensibilities.

Many years ago, my husband and I ran a weekly teen ministry at our home church in Elkhart, Indiana. Each week, some 40 teens would gather to discuss all manner of life and how God is in the details. Most of the children were not churchgoers, and many had negative feelings about the church, yet they came every week to talk. One week, our conversation had something to do with sex. A 16-year-old girl told us that her mother would say, “don’t let no boy trick you out your panties.” Any conversation about sex, teen pregnancy, dating, or relationships led to that standing line. This, she said, was her mother’s version of “the sex talk.” She hated it.

The young lady went on to tell us that she lost her virginity to a boy, and her mother found out. Her mother chastised: “Didn’t I tell you not to let no boy trick you out your panties!” She calmly responded, “He didn’t; I gave them to him.” Her mother’s inability to offer her daughter a healthy way of understanding her body and its value caused her daughter to reject her message and what was likely deep concern.

It’s not just what you say but how you say it. Parents would do well to learn how to have positive and honest conversations with our children about sex and sexuality. We need to leave behind talk laced with commands and distressing scenarios.

Shameless: A Sexual Reformation helps us to think through the religious and commercial origins of our fear of sexuality. Nadia brilliantly tells the biblical story without the harsh interpretations many of us grew up with, inviting us to hear it with new ears. This reading has awakened me to a new perspective and pushed me to read the familiar stories again.

I recommend Shameless: A Sexual Reformation for those who seek to find a new love for the church and those who hope or need to talk about sex with their children, youth group, women’s groups,  or church leaders.

By Rhoda Keener and Carolyn Heggen

Two Sister Care leadership training seminars were held in eastern Ukraine, May 16-18 in Dnipro, and May 25-27 in Zaporizhzhia, cities located just north of Russian-annexed Crimea and 135 miles west of the current conflict on the border between Ukraine and Russia. Most of the participants were part of the Russian Baptist church or leaders of various social service agencies.  Seminars were led by Carolyn Heggen, psychotherapist specializing in trauma healing, and Rhoda Keener, Sister Care International Director for Mennonite Women USA (MW USA). 

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Over the past few weeks, several states have passed new laws criminalizing abortion. I don’t have a political agenda in this pondering; I just suggest food for thought. In preface to my proposal to follow, I affirm that when the first heartbeat is recognized, life is present. I believe all life is precious and that Jesus came for all of God’s creation. And, I think that taking any life is not our choice but should be left to God.

That said, I suggest that we start by considering our definitions. If the purpose of banning abortion is to give every person life, then how are we defining life? What is it? Is it simply breathing? Does the term life assume food, clothing, and shelter? How about medical care and basic education? What about love and acceptance? Are these not requirements for life?

There are on average half a million children in foster care in the United States. In 2017, that number rose to nearly 700,000. Children tend to enter foster care around the age of 8 years old. Most foster children live in multiple foster family homes, and 11 percent live in institutions and group homes. One-third of these are children of color. Children who do not find a forever family have a higher likelihood than youth in the general population to experience homelessness, unemployment, and incarceration as adults (Children’s Rights Organization).

The average woman does not want or desire an abortion, yet I know many women who have chosen to have one. Each woman came to the decision with heartache and grief, and many question their choices long after the fact. I can only imagine the additional emotional and spiritual turmoil a woman who has suffered rape or incest must go through.

This country has far too many children living in unhealthy foster care families, institutions, and group homes. To really offer life to all people, our response to abortion needs to include them. Let’s live into God’s word:

We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help? Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. — 1 John 3:16-18

If we must ban abortions, then I’d like to see the law call to account every capable adult with at least middle-class income and education in our nation’s care for the right to life. We’d start with those who identify as “right to life” Christians. Families would be picked at random. When a child or siblings enter the system—regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, or age—a family would be notified, and a child or children would arrive within 72 hours. Under this arrangement, the state would no longer spend so much of its budget to care for children. It is logical that people who believe that every child has a right to life willingly cover the cost of raising children unable to stay in their homes. We stand together and make sure every child in the nation is cared for properly.

As the second step of my proposal—after the half a million children in need of homes have been placed with pro-life Christians—the general population would be added to the registry to receive a foster child with the hope of becoming a forever home. Then, perhaps, we would be well on our way to ending abortion in our nation.

I know that “right to life” and “pro-choice” arguments will keep warring, because that is what we are wired to do: talk and complain about abortion without trying to come to a real compromise. Where is common ground? What are we willing to give up in order to make tangible, beneficial progress in this debate?

International Seminar on Healing
by Rhoda Keener and David B Miller

For three days (March 31-April 2), the Wadsworth Room at Anabaptist Mennonite Biblical Seminary (AMBS) became something of a microcosm of the global church. Here six couples from Africa, Asia, Europe, and North America met together to explore and test new resources and approaches for healing ministry in their contexts. When asked what they hoped to learn from Mennonite Women USA’s  Compassionate Care: Equipping Leaders for Healing Ministry seminar, Patrick Obonde, AMBS student from Nairobi, Kenya said: “I want to learn how to break through the social veneer, traditions, and culture that keep women suffering in silence.”  Shabnam Bagh, India added, “Women don’t speak, especially in the rural areas.”  Jonah Yang, Hmong pastor from Thailand currently living in Minneapolis said, “In my culture men have power over their wives. I want to learn how to break that. We need to reinterpret scripture.”

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I love the National Geographic documentary “One Strange Rock.” This series highlights incredible aspects of earth, nature, and earth’s inhabitants. Every time I watch an episode, I come away asking myself, Can that seriously be true?

One stunning episode is about how the earth has changed and almost destroyed itself multiple times. The viewer gets to see a rock wall in Bolivia with the footprints of eight or so dinosaur species. The earth there used to be flat—until molten lava underneath the ground folded it and created a wall. I imagine that fateful day: life walked along, minding its own business, when without warning the land beneath it heaved and shifted.

God formed the earth as a living, breathing creation that continues to change and withstand this harsh universe. In Scriptures, we learn about times when God has appeared present and active. Take, for example, the Exodus, when God parted waters and materialized in a pillar of fire by night and a cloud by day. But, we also read about God’s long silences. Consider the four long centuries between the Old and New Testaments.

As a pastor, I have often wondered about God’s involvement in our world now. Many of our circumstances tempt me to believe that God is silent, watching and letting life do whatever it’s going to do. These ideas sadden me because they focus on frail humaity and our capacity to hate and destroy.

But then, beautiful reminders such as One Strange Rock remind me that God is not done with us yet. God’s creation is so much bigger and more resilient than human life alone.

Consider the lowly plant. Plants grow in the harshest conditions and find room in the most constricted spaces. They possess the fortitude and inner strength to break through rocks, water, and human-made structures. If one plants a tree too close to a house, the roots will push the foundation. When multiple trees are planted along a body of water, they will over time change the flow and shape of that body of water.

Marvel, then, at God’s sense of humor in creation. Consider how parrot fishes’ waste creates our island beaches. It’s funny as well as surprising! I never knew that when I relax on the beach, I am reclining on fish waste! God must laugh in delight as we encounter such creations!

I also recommend the documentary Life Without People, which shows how the planet might evolve without human interference. Within a relatively short period, the earth would likely return to a type of Garden of Eden: a self-sustaining, ever-evolving, life-producing oasis.

For now, those privileged to witness the marvels of this planet should do so; our earth continues to shift and turn, and we never know when upheaval will happen again. To those who may never leave their small corner of the world, I pray you can at least watch inspiring programming such as One Strange Rock and dream big!

Chicago, Illinois, will inaugurate its first female African American mayor come April 2019. Toni Preckwinkle and Lori Lightfoot emerged as the top two in the primary elections—so, no matter what, Chicago will be led by an African American woman. This is something to celebrate!

I have watched Toni Preckwinkle’s career as she led the Cook County Board for the past eight years. She has done an excellent job and is clearly a capable leader. Lori Lightfoot is new to the Chicago political scene but seem like a tough, driven woman who would be capable of handling the daunting mayoral responsibilities of such a big city.

So why the negativity?

I was so hoping these two “sistas” would get together and agree to run a positive campaign. I hoped they would stick to their respective agendas and refuse to throw one another under the bus. But, it has turned out to be a typical political campaign. Negative commercials, false or misleading information, and blatant distrust widen the gulf between the two candidates. I am disappointed.

My mother used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.” I wish Lori and Toni would have followed this time-honored advice. I wanted them to show the country another way of working out challenges for the good of all people. I wanted them to show us that negativity is unnecessary in a campaign and that what voters want is to get to know them and understand their vision and plans. I wanted them to do all they could to help voters to make informed decisions about whether or not they believe in the candidate and what she stands for.

As women, I call on us to stop working against one another. Now. Let us find ways to support and encourage each other. When we disagree, let us show that we are capable of finding positive ways to work through our differences.

As we enter arenas that have been dominated by men, let us not forget who we are and why men need us in the first place. We don’t have to follow the systems designed by men. When we see a better way, we don’t have to play the games of life the way they play them.

Let us show the world the beauty and essence of God that is in each of us women. Let the world see how we are made in the powerful image of the Most High God.

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said that if we are to embody God’s love truly, then we have to decide not to be “compassionate by proxy.” I find this statement timelier than ever as many of us wonder if our world is spinning out of control. 

How can we calm our spinning minds and regain some sense of peace? I believe we need to reject compassion by proxy and embrace compassion in proximity and community.

The first step is simply getting to know our neighbor. It is a remedy to the rampant fear that has been building due to our disconnection from each other, creation, ourselves, and God. Disconnection has caused us to view the Other as a threat to our existence. We have become a people suffering from unhealthy isolation, confusion and—most gravely—fear. 

Only compassion in proximity and community will dismantle the fear that tells us the Other wants to diminish, rob, or kill us. Only this kind of compassion will break down the emotional walls between rural Kansas and Los Angeles, African America and white America, North America and south of the border. We must believe that all people are made for security and peace in nearness with one another. Trusting there can be enough for everyone, we’ll be able to loosen our grip on our “stuff” and relax about what we may lose. Then, perhaps, we can focus on how we can help others and join in creating peace. 

I recently visited a Yakama Reservation in Washington. Learning from a Native American perspective changed my understanding of Native American struggles and showed me similarities with the African American experience. When visiting Kansas, I spent time with a white young man from rural Nebraska. Talking with him about life gave me a different perspective on his needs and concerns. I believe if want to help poor Native American children or families in Appalachia; it would be an entirely different experience if you live among them. How could things change, I wonder, if more of us would offer our entire selves and resources to a particular community or culture? How much different could our world be?

Jesus moved toward people, into proximity and community with people whom others feared and shunned. He went into their spaces and met them at their points of need. Jesus saw their humanity, and—because he was in relationship with them—they also saw his. 

When was the last time you spent time with the Other—someone previously unknown and perhaps even feared? When was the last time you were able to consider or decide something about the Other in light of personal experience with them? When were you able to take into account more than what you heard or read from secondary sources like your pastor or even your parents? 

If we are to truly seek the Kingdom of God on earth, we must develop the kind of compassion that emerges from proximity and community—a compassion so much wiser than compassion by proxy.