Chicago, Illinois, will inaugurate its first female African American mayor come April 2019. Toni Preckwinkle and Lori Lightfoot emerged as the top two in the primary elections—so, no matter what, Chicago will be led by an African American woman. This is something to celebrate!

I have watched Toni Preckwinkle’s career as she led the Cook County Board for the past eight years. She has done an excellent job and is clearly a capable leader. Lori Lightfoot is new to the Chicago political scene but seem like a tough, driven woman who would be capable of handling the daunting mayoral responsibilities of such a big city.

So why the negativity?

I was so hoping these two “sistas” would get together and agree to run a positive campaign. I hoped they would stick to their respective agendas and refuse to throw one another under the bus. But, it has turned out to be a typical political campaign. Negative commercials, false or misleading information, and blatant distrust widen the gulf between the two candidates. I am disappointed.

My mother used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.” I wish Lori and Toni would have followed this time-honored advice. I wanted them to show the country another way of working out challenges for the good of all people. I wanted them to show us that negativity is unnecessary in a campaign and that what voters want is to get to know them and understand their vision and plans. I wanted them to do all they could to help voters to make informed decisions about whether or not they believe in the candidate and what she stands for.

As women, I call on us to stop working against one another. Now. Let us find ways to support and encourage each other. When we disagree, let us show that we are capable of finding positive ways to work through our differences.

As we enter arenas that have been dominated by men, let us not forget who we are and why men need us in the first place. We don’t have to follow the systems designed by men. When we see a better way, we don’t have to play the games of life the way they play them.

Let us show the world the beauty and essence of God that is in each of us women. Let the world see how we are made in the powerful image of the Most High God.

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said that if we are to embody God’s love truly, then we have to decide not to be “compassionate by proxy.” I find this statement timelier than ever as many of us wonder if our world is spinning out of control. 

How can we calm our spinning minds and regain some sense of peace? I believe we need to reject compassion by proxy and embrace compassion in proximity and community.

The first step is simply getting to know our neighbor. It is a remedy to the rampant fear that has been building due to our disconnection from each other, creation, ourselves, and God. Disconnection has caused us to view the Other as a threat to our existence. We have become a people suffering from unhealthy isolation, confusion and—most gravely—fear. 

Only compassion in proximity and community will dismantle the fear that tells us the Other wants to diminish, rob, or kill us. Only this kind of compassion will break down the emotional walls between rural Kansas and Los Angeles, African America and white America, North America and south of the border. We must believe that all people are made for security and peace in nearness with one another. Trusting there can be enough for everyone, we’ll be able to loosen our grip on our “stuff” and relax about what we may lose. Then, perhaps, we can focus on how we can help others and join in creating peace. 

I recently visited a Yakama Reservation in Washington. Learning from a Native American perspective changed my understanding of Native American struggles and showed me similarities with the African American experience. When visiting Kansas, I spent time with a white young man from rural Nebraska. Talking with him about life gave me a different perspective on his needs and concerns. I believe if want to help poor Native American children or families in Appalachia; it would be an entirely different experience if you live among them. How could things change, I wonder, if more of us would offer our entire selves and resources to a particular community or culture? How much different could our world be?

Jesus moved toward people, into proximity and community with people whom others feared and shunned. He went into their spaces and met them at their points of need. Jesus saw their humanity, and—because he was in relationship with them—they also saw his. 

When was the last time you spent time with the Other—someone previously unknown and perhaps even feared? When was the last time you were able to consider or decide something about the Other in light of personal experience with them? When were you able to take into account more than what you heard or read from secondary sources like your pastor or even your parents? 

If we are to truly seek the Kingdom of God on earth, we must develop the kind of compassion that emerges from proximity and community—a compassion so much wiser than compassion by proxy.