Words or phrases tend to roll around in my head for long periods of time as I ponder their deeper meaning. Over the past few weeks I have repeatedly encountered the word “expectation.”
We have everyday expectations of waking, the sun rising, gravity holding everything in place. We also have expectations of successful outcomes, happy endings. In each of these we can easily begin to focus on our expectation, and consequently lose sight of God’s.
God has given me many abilities and constant opportunities to use them. He has also given me an anointed, ordained gifting. I’m discovering the difference between the two. I have the knowledge and physical ability to organize and administrate almost anything set before me, to scrapbook, decorate, create event promos, arrange flowers from my yard, sew, paint, bake bread, cook healthy meals for my family, teach, refinish furniture, find ways to repurpose old items, etc. Is God asking me to do this long list of activities, or am I doing them because I CAN? There is a huge difference between natural productivity and spiritual productivity. Am I doing these things to impress others? Myself? Attempting to prove my worth to God? Admittedly, all three of these are true. I tend to measure my own worth by my natural productivity.
Where is there time for spiritual productivity? The sad answer is that there has been little to no time for that. Oh, there are Bible studies, planning committees, leadership meetings, organized prayer times, and conferences attended. They are good, necessary, fruitful things. And yet….
Do I dare even whisper my question? Is there something more? Is there an anointed, ordained destiny that I’m being distracted from? I’ve had the best intentions, with good fruit produced. Are good activities distracting me so that the bigger impact is not made? If I do what is comfortable for my knowledge and ability level I’m not just avoiding the fear of being uncomfortable and stretched. I am also avoiding the FULFILLMENT of my before birth, anointed, ordained gifting.
God has been revealing my path….one scary, but joyful step at a time. He put a vision in my heart several years ago and I made my own plan for its fulfillment. There have been rough times. I’ll admit, I’ve been battered and bruised because I attempted to do it MY way. It wasn’t a bad way of rebellious intention. However, IT WASN’T GOD’S WAY. It wasn’t His plan. Since I have surrendered my plan for achieving the vision of ministry God has shown me, He has gradually revealed each step he wanted for me all along.
The added blessing has been all the new sisters God is bringing into my life to walk with me in this process. They are daughters of the Most High who I believe will participate in the fulfillment of the vision God has planted….not just in my heart, but in the hearts of all of his daughters!
Step in faith, even if you are afraid. God is already there, waiting in expectation ….for YOU!
Used by permission from The Burning Bush, Franklin Conference newsletter.